A Warriors Guide to Not Making Mary Sues
by Coqui's Song
Summary: Tired of listening to reviewers rant about how your character's a Mary Sue? Take some humorous yet useful advice on how NOT to write one while following Starmoon's Mary Sue life. Co-authored by Queen Of The Pens
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is being written because Queen Of The Pens and I, Coqui's Song, are tired of seeing Mary Sue after Mary Sue in the Warriors fandom. This fic is part humor/for the amusement of writing it and partly to give advice to authors who need help. **

_A Warriors Guide to Not Making Mary-Sues_

Authors:

_Coqui's Song _and _Queen Of The Pens_

Chapter One: Names

_The heavy, dark rain clouds covered the sky completely. There was a brief blue flash of lightning, instantly followed by a loud crash of thunder. A queen yowled into the night, her shrieks of agony drowning out the thunder, making a golden tom's ears twitch as he cringed away from the sound of his mate's cries. _

_Anxiously he paced outside of the nursery, not caring that the raindrops were pelting him, soaking him. The tom stopped as the Clan's medicine cat poked her head out, gazing at him with serious blue eyes and shook her head, looking sympathetic. _

No. It isn't possible! _The tom thought in panic, trying to convince himself that his mate would be fine._

"_I must see the kits," he meowed, feeling broken. _

"_There is only one," the medicine cat told him. "Her littermates all died."_

_The tom only gave a short, brisk nod as he brushed past the medicine cat, into the nursery. As he padded closer, he saw his mate, curled protectively around the kit that hadn't died. _

"_My love," whispered his mate, her voice terribly weak, "I have little life left. But our daughter –she has so much left. Let her be named Starkit, please, so you may always remember that StarClan has not and never will leave us, even on the stormiest nights."_

"_Starkit it shall be then," he agreed, choking on his words. "I love you, Spottedpath."_

"_And I you," she replied feebly. "Take care of our Starkit."_

_Spottedpath sighed, closed her eyes, and went limp. _

_The tom shakily turned to Starkit. She was so tiny, so beautiful. Her pretty silver tabby pelt seemed to shimmer in the dim light of the nursery as lightning crackled outside. He had to protect his daughter now. He owed it to Spottedpath._

"_I can take her," meowed another she-cat, Dappledleaf. Dappledleaf was a young queen, a warrior for only two moons before giving birth to her first litter a half-moon ago. She was kind and gentle, and would make a wonderful mother for Starkit._

"_Thank you," he murmured, and turned away as Dappledlead placed Starkit gently next to her warm belly. Starkit mewed and began to suckle._

_The tom grabbed Spottedpath's scruff and pulled her body out into the clearing of ThunderClan's camp. He set her down to look as if she were only sleeping, and lay next to her, pushing his muzzle into her dampened fur, inhaling her sweet scent for the last time._

**Ω Ω Ω**

Welcome, readers, to _A Warriors Guide to Not Making Mary-Sues._ You have just read an excerpt of a Mary-Sue, Starmoon's, life. She is, of course, an OC of mine and Queen's. She is for an example of how not to write a character. She'll appear each chapter.

Now, for this chapter, we're going to talk names. Names are critical in order to tell whether or not your character is a Sue. Names don't always make a Sue (there is a non-Sue named Newleaf XD I should stop bragging about my skills. Don't worry; not gonna do it again), but they are fairly important. Important Sue names are those with prefixes such as (note- these are for warriors, not rogues, loners, Tribe cats, or BloodClan cats):

Star- this one is rather obvious; warrior cats believe in StarClan, so this is a bit like naming your child God. (The God comment brought to you by Queen. I'm afraid I wasn't clever enough to come up with it. I might be amusing later, we'll see.) Anyway, Do NOT use it at ALL.

Moon- this is a bit like Star, but not to the same level. Warrior cats think of the moon as a sacred thing; why else would they name the places where they commune with StarClan the Moonstone or the Moonpool? Why else is a clouded full moon on a Gathering night so bad? This name is not recommended, but some clever authors can pull it off without making the character a Sue.

Destiny, Hope, Love, Life, and any other names that make me and Queen want to barf- just no. I don't think it's possible to pull off.

Silver- this is a bit iffy. If you have a warrior named Silver, you must try to make her into a flawed, healthy character that readers identify with. With work, it's possible to take it out of Mary-Sue territory.

_The Sparkle Group: _

Beware these names in the sparkle group; they are definitely and completely Mary-Sues. They include:

Gems- Anything with prefixes like Emerald, Ruby, Diamond, and any other jewel is a Mary Sue name. Warriors don't know what jewels are; Erin only uses the word "emerald" to describe the shade of green a cat's eyes are.

Sparkling, Shimmer, Shine, Glimmer, and Shining- (Oh, my goodness, I think I just barfed a rainbow at these Sue names) Never mind my reaction to them. These names are irredeemable. "Shining" is one that authors often give a cat who will become leader, to be known as "Shiningstar". With a name like any of these, it is impossible for authors to stray out of Mary Sue territory.

_Suffixes_- are less troublesome than the prefixes of a warrior name. Many prefixes, however, can be used as suffixes as well. Don't use anything with glimmer, shine, shimmer, cresent, spark, or any other strange name like these.

All in all, if you can't think of a name for a warrior cat other than these, use the name generators they have on the internet. Know how I recommended doing a Create-a-Cat before I revised this chaper? I realized most Mary Sue names come from them, so they don't work. Just use the name generators or be more imaginative (or unimaginative; however way you want to put it).

**_This chapter's non-Mary-Sue-story recommendation (stories that Queen or I have read and we approve of them not being Mary Sues. If you've read a really good one without a Mary Sue, feel free to tell us): _Pawn of the Stars by PurpleVNeck. **

_**Comments on the above story: **_**Best. Warriors. Fic. Ever.**

**The next chapter might take awhile, because Que****en Of The Pens is writing it, and she's on vacation for a week. XD We'd love some reviews, by the way. :)**

**_~Coqui's Song _and _Queen Of The Pens_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, it's Queen Of The Pens! You can call me Queen if you want to. I am Coqui's partner-in-crime or co-author. As Coqui might have explained earlier, we're both sick of seeing so many Mary-Sues in the Warriors fandom, so we decided to create this guide on How Not to Create a Mary-Sue. We received quite a few questions as to whether Starmoon (who is silver tabby she-cat with spaaaaaaaaaarkling rainbow eyes, by the way) would become Starstar, but you'll just have to wait and see. So, into the action, which shall reveal another aspect of Starmoon's Mary-Sueishness.**

**_Coqui: _As a note, you may find that some spellings are different than mine. No worries, it's only because I live in America while Queen is Australian. I kept these spellings because I find I quite like them.**

Chapter Two: Prophetic Dreams & Prophecies

_Three moons had passed since she'd been born, and Starkit was, although the death of her mother weighed heavily on her shoulders, beginning to become attached to her adoptive littermates. Although the other kits were a half-moon older than her, Dappledleaf made sure that they all treated her fairly and evenly. She was happy that they all let her play with them and welcomed her warmly whenever she tumbled outside and challenged them to playfights. Her littermates, Birdkit, Skykit, and Soaringkit, were the only other kits in the nursery, and once they moved out, she'd be alone again._

_All these thoughts buzzed through her head as she closed her rainbow eyes slowly and her breathing became slow and lethargic, accompanied by similar sounds from her littermates and her exhausted mother Dappledleaf, who barely managed to snatch the slightest sleep during night or day._

_She opened her eyes again, but in a completely different place - a large, vast expanse of field, shimmering silver in the starlight, was frosted with a silver-white snow that gleamed and shone, a glance of purity where the long shadows stretched out over the field. Her eyes stretched wide, amazed by the sheer beauty of the area, unaware that the moonlight touched her eyes in a way most becoming for her silver fur._

_"Young one!" an old, weathered voice rasped._

_Starkit jumped, looking around for the source of the voice. It was strange, she thought - there was no-one else in the field._

_And then, she saw the cat - an old grey she-cat, ears ragged and torn and yellow eyes glittering meanly out from her patchy, pushed-up face. But despite her meanness, stars glittered in her fur, and realisation made Starkit's breath catch in her throat. This was no ordinary cat; this was a StarClan cat, one spoken of in legends._

_"I have travelled far to tell you this, young one," the grey cat hissed, her foul breath making Starkit recoil. "Not all things in this world is just butterflies and sunshine. No, there are deeper, darker things, ones that lurk in shadows. Cats that will stop at nothing to bring out the worst in every tom and she-cat around. These cats are ruthless, uncaring; and there is one that no-one could have guessed, basking in the darkness of your Clan. I have come to tell you, though, a prophecy. A prophecy about you."_

_"About me?" Starkit stuttered, amazed, and wondering how she'd found her voice so quickly._

_The grey cat closed her eyes and crouched down to the ground, as if drawing strength from the chinks of starlight that littered the silver grass. Then, all of a sudden, a chill wind picked up into a howling storm, but somehow, the gentle hiss of the grey she-cat's voice made its way to Starkit's ears._

_"The soaring hopes of one shall bring destruction to the Clan; the bird and the sky, kin of each other, will aid the glittering path of moonlight and starshine, to help create peace, harmony, and restfulness in the Clans once more."_

_Then, the dream blurred around her, fading into a grey swirl, yet the prophecy remained, ringing in Starkit's ears,_

_"The soaring hopes of one shall bring destruction to the Clan; the bird and the sky, kin of each other, will aid the glittering path of moonlight and starshine, to help create peace, harmony, and restfulness in the Clans once more."_

_And she knew, from that moment on, that her life would be far from ordinary._

**Ω Ω Ω**

And so, that is Starkit's very first, but not her very last prophetic dream.

Medicine cats and leaders should be the only one to receive prophecies, realistically, but Mary-Sues seem to want to steal all the limelight. The truth is, they just want to be the most perfect cat around.

In order to not create a Mary-Sue, eliminating the presence of prophecies and prophetic dreams is very important; also, another aspect that helps a cat be even more Mary-Sueish is being told that they have a) a great destiny or b) will save the Clans. Either one just screams 'here comes a Mary-Sue', but a prophecy about them, on the other hand, is just the icing on the cake. Especially obvious prophecies.

Okay, let's dissect my obvious prophecy -the soaring hopes of one shall bring destruction to the Clan; the bird and the sky, kin of each other, will aid the glittering path of moonlight and starshine, to help create peace, harmony, and restfulness in the Clans once more. First things first, the soaring hopes of one shall bring destruction to the Clan; how much more obvious can that get? I carefully planted the names of her littermates in the chapter, so you'd be able to work it out as you read. So, Soaringkit is Starkit's evil counterpart, the one she'll be fighting with heart and soul who will be eventually exiled and killed. The bird and the sky, kin of each other, are Birdkit and Skykit, who 'will aid the glittering path of moonlight and starshine' which is our great friend the Mary Sue, also known as Starmoon. The rest of the prophecy basically tells us that she'll be saving the Clans.

Every Mary-Sue has an amazing destiny, which always means she'll end up saving the Clan/s. There are, sadly, a lot of obvious prophecies trailing after Mary-Sues throughout the fandom, and not only Mary-Sues, but circling around other cats who are trying very hardnotto be Mary-Sues when it isn't exactly working out.

A prophecy is probably best to be shunned, but if you really want to have one, and if you really want your cat to have prophetic dreams, you can always make the prophecies indirect and hard to work out, and the dreams confused and extremely hard to get a grip on the meaning. That way, your cat is less likely to be accused of being a Mary-Sue, and it also means that it keeps the reader in the dark a little bit, therefore giving a more suspenseful and exciting feel to the story.

**Queen: So that concludes my chapter. I want to let you know that I might be answering your reviews to this chapter, but Coqui might be as well. If you're lucky, you might get two, from each of us! Now how good does that sound? XD**

_**Coqui: **_**Really, Queen? I barely read anything funny. Oh, well, slow chapters. What are you going to do? This chapter's wonderful non-Mary-Sue-story goes to_ Unwritten _by Dawnfrost96.**

_**~Queen Of The Pens **_**and**_** Coqui's Song**_


End file.
